Warning: How Fear And Anxiety Eat You Alive
My wife doesn’t like spiders in the house. When she gets surprised by one, she’ll express that “Eek! A spider!” response. She’s terribly afraid of spiders.
That’s fear.
Fear is an immediate response to a perceived threat. Until a spider comes along, my wife feels perfectly fine.
After a spider encounter? Well, it’ll take her a minute or so to shake it off.
Anxiety is different. That’s where you stress over things before they actually happen... You refuse to enter that old tool shed, because it might be full of spiders or other creepy crawlers… You refuse to go to the dentist because it might hurt.
I’ve heard lots of people claim to have fear of the dentist. Yet for the last 25+ years of being a dentist, I’ve never once heard anyone say “Eek! A dentist!”
I have seen some true dental phobics. My mother was one. She couldn’t even come visit me at the dental office. That level of phobia is less common nowadays.
That being said, LOTS of people are anxious about going to the dentist. That’s one of our profession’s biggest challenges – helping people overcome dental anxiety.
Beneath that anxiety there’s often a fear factor. Fear of pain is a big one. Fear of needles. Fear of confined spaces. Fear of losing control. Fear of embarrassment. Fear of the unknown. All that gets wrapped up in so-called fear of the dentist. We’re an easy target to blame.
Let me put it another way. If you were terrified of heights and were taken to the top of a tall building with big glass windows, you would be afraid to look out those big windows. You’re not afraid of big windows or looking out of them. You’re afraid of heights. The windows are the conduit of your true fear, not the source.
That’s how it is with dentists. Look beneath the anxiety to find the true fear.
For clarity, I’ll outline some differences between fear and anxiety.
The Fear Factor
Fear and anxiety are often confused. Easy to do because they feel similar and one typically begets the other. Fear leads to anxiety, and anxiety leads to fear.
Confused? Brian Clark of Copyblogger explains the difference between fear and anxiety in his article Is F.E.A.R. Holding You Back?
Watch this video of a Bill Cosby comedy skit about the horrors of visiting the dentist… =>
At the time, people found that skit incredibly funny. Back in those days, fear of the dentist was widespread and strong emotions can be a shortcut to your funny-bone.
Fear is a direct response to a threatening situation. For example, unexpectedly coming face to face with a spider. If that’s a particular focus for your fear, you’ll get a strong reaction.
Imagine for a moment walking down a dark street late at night. You’re tired and look forward to sleeping, when suddenly some street punk jumps out and points a gun to your head demanding money. You would feel startled and a rush of adrenaline would put you into a hyper-alert state.
Unless you have nerves of steel, you’ll experience a full-blown fight-or-flight response. You’ll break out in a sweat and your heart will almost be jumping out of your chest.
That’s fear.
Phobia is an intense persistent fear of something. A bad experience in childhood can lay the foundation for a phobia. Once you develop a phobia, further exposure to it is likely to elicit an immediate fear response.
Top 10 Fears
- Snakes 51%
- Public Speaking 40%
- Heights 36%
- Confined Spaces 34%
- Spiders 27%
- Needles and Injections 21%
- Mice 20%
- Flying on a plane 18%
- (Tie) Dogs, Crowds, Thunder 11%
- Going to a Doctor 9%
That poll from Gallup was conducted on American adults.
Points of interest: Fear of the dark might be common for children but represented only 5% of adults. There were distinct gender differences, especially for snakes, spiders and mice. Interestingly, females scored higher for each of the Top 10 Fears except for one… Visiting the doctor.
Sometimes fear can be your best friend. It can save your life. Your adrenaline-based response is an ancient survival mechanism designed to help you take immediate action in dangerous situations. Like dodging from a charging saber-tooth tiger. Though I haven’t seen many of those around lately.
With that gun to your head, you’ll experience a full-blown fear response. It’s a quick and dirty system – fast but not precise. And it’s that lack of precision that makes it so messy.
“How do I OVERCOME my fear and anxiety?” Just asking that question is a big step in the right direction. Many people would ask the wrong question – “How can I AVOID my fear and anxiety?”
Avoidance has consequences. Some problems tend to progress if left unchecked. That definitely applies to teeth. Also, anxiety tends to grow if avoidance becomes your primary strategy. Going to a dentist will be an even bigger barrier to overcome.
It’s like letting the weeds take over the garden.
Anxiety: The Real Enemy
Now, let’s say you recovered from that encounter with the street punk, but ever since that incident, you’ve had a hard time walking down any dark streets. Every time you try, you feel a sense of dread that something bad will happen. And with time, that apprehension has been gradually getting worse.
That’s anxiety.
Anxiety is that vague, unpleasant apprehension that something bad will happen. An anticipation of negative outcomes, even with little evidence to support that.
Anxiety can stem from a traumatic experience. Seeing a spider isn’t exactly traumatic, but having a gun to your head certainly would be.
Anxiety can also be the emotional fallout from excessive worrying and an imagination caught in a negative spin.
Guess what? Whether the threat is real or imaginary, your physical body can’t tell the difference. Either way your body is put on high-alert and your resources are burned up fast. Any imagined threat can leave you feeling just as drained and exhausted as a genuine one.
That’s why anxiety is your real enemy. It will consume you like an energy vampire and make your days miserable.
What’s all that have to do with going to the dentist? Stay tuned for Part II of Dental Fear.
Stay healthy and keep smiling!
Dr. Joe 
| About the Author: Joe Bulger is a successful dentist in Toronto, Canada. Visit his blog on Dental Secrets Guide to learn more about dental services and opportunities. |
More Dental Fear & Anxiety Resources:
- Fear of the Dentist and Dental Anxiety – Overcoming Your Dental Anxiety
- Dental Fear Central – Resources for Dental Phobia and Dental Anxiety.
- Dental Fear – Wikipedia’s definition of Dental Fear.
- Dental Phobia – Floss.com explains Dental Phobia and what you can do about it.
{ 34 comments… read them below or add one }
Fear and anxiety a topic that you could discuss for days. For those that have not been to the dentist in a long time due to fear and anxiety issues let me tell you sometime, THE TIMES HAVE CHANGED
go and see your dentist and I think you will be really surprised how technology, procedures and medications have made going to the dentist different. Think of it as dental evolution, like the Ford model T to the newest Mustang. 
Pretty nice post. I just stumbled upon your blog and wanted to say that I have really enjoyed browsing your blog posts. In any case I’ll be subscribing to your feed and I hope you write again soon!
I really like the fresh perspective you did on the issue. Really was not expecting that when I started off studying. Your concepts were easy to understand that I wondered why I never looked at it before. Glad to know that there’s an individual out there that definitely understands what he’s discussing. Great job.
hello
I am embarrassed about my teeth but I am a dental hygienist in the making. How do I overcome this fear?
Dave, your fear will help you empathize with everyone else who goes through the same thing. Also, everybody loves an overcoming-adversity story. Share your story with patients and they will definitely relate and connect.
Welcome to the profession and good luck with studies.
Joe
I only fear the dentist when I know i have a bad cavity. I am super anal about my teeth cleaning though. I make sure it’s brush and floss right before I sleep.
Leslie
I have so many of the top fears listed…almost every one!! That’s scary in and of itself! lol
-Jaimee
Enjoyed your witty post, thanks. I really feel for all the lovely Dentists out there who end up with an anxious patient whose anxiety has come about from poor treatment from a previous dentist who showed no empathy or understanding.It’s such a shame for the patients who endure the anxiety.
Your analogy was well done with windows and looking out of them!
Cheers
Heather
The imagine of a real Dentist its for many of us, lit bit scary. The resonance its very important, when you mention his name. Also lets consider some factors that are very important like the results, which also may be a very considerent factor.
I always feel like Pat benater in “get nervous” video when i see the dentist.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sXatoCG13tw
I was nervous about the dentist ever until my lifelong dentist retired and has no luck going to jerks who lied about my teeth, one dentist told me i need all my wisdom teeth pulled out when i dont even have any wisdom teeth.. First time i had a root canal and crown, it didnt hurt but 2 years later i got an absecc and found out the root canal was poorly done and so was the crown, had to have everything redone.. Everything has cost me about $5, 000 for one tooth .. I have not had any luck finding a good dentist.. The young guys in their 30s are the worst btw.
Wow Sheila, I never saw that Pat Benatar video. I like the part at the end where she becomes one of “them”
Hope you find that shining white dental hero to take care of you.
i am still a dental phobic
interesting that women scored higher for being fearful of the doctor. i guess the one thing to be afraid of is finding out bad news which could mean financial consequences or worse, health consequences. i am not so fearful as i just don’t feel like going! its such a hassle, but it is important…
My biggest fear when it came to the dentist was that I was going to be hurt. It hurt when someone was scraping at my teeth with instruments or poking at my gums.
When I go to the dentist I always think that they are going to find a lot of problems with my teeth which equals expensive treatment.
As a kid i always wanted to eat sweets that resulted to often dental problems. But lucky me, I’ve never had a fear of going to a dentist. And still, sweets are my favorites…
I think if there were no such things as dentist tools which made that infamous high pitched drilling sound, there wouldnt be such a thing as dentist anxiety, what do you guys think?
I kind of think you’re wrong there. People are also scared of the needles the dentists use for injections too.
I’ve always been afraid to go to the dentist. For me it’s more of anticipation of the pain that will come. Having been there before, I already knew what will happen. So the more I think about it on my next visit, the more fearful I get.
I never used to be scared of the dentist but I had a check-up last week and they said that I have to either have a root canal (which the dentist said could muck up) or have an extraction! It’s a whole month away yet I’m TERRIFIED. Even worse, they’re gonna use needles and I HATE NEEDLES!!!!!!!!!!
When our kids were young, we tried to make dental visits a pleasant experience. We didn’t really make a big deal out of it. We also never mention any bad experiences we had with dentists. We tried to be very calm and casual about it. I am so thankful that all our 5 kids are not fearful of dentists.
I don’t think that my spouse has gone to the dentist since she was a child. I don’t know if she had a bad experience as a child, but there is zero chance she will go. Trying to get her there is a waste of energy. She would rather deal with pain than go. Sad.
I have always liked going to the dentist and I am not sure why, my little brother used to scream and cry but I never had a real problem with it. Maybe because my dentist was so nice and made me feel ok.
Wow snakes and public speaking are the top two fears people have?? I like snakes…and I don’t mind public speaking. Don’t do spiders though, yuck!
story about a spider I also like what your wife had experienced.
“Look beneath the anxiety to find the true fear.”
– Haha! maybe my dentist has heavy hands, that’s why when she injected me it felt like my bones have also been injected! I used to scream a lot when i was a child! It just made me laugh.
Fear exist the day we are born. Things get complicated when fear is there. But all of us didnt know that we can conquer fear by praying. I declare that nothing beats fear but prayer. Thanks for posting this.
Personally I have an amazing dentist and whether or not the procedure hurts the dentist himself made me feel relaxed. I believe having a regular dentist you know and trust helps in this area.
I used to be terrified of the dentist but for some reason the fear went away – it was the needles I was the most scared of and these days things seem to have changed and I don’t even feel the needles – I don’t know how they do that. Maybe my current dentist is just very good at doing injections.
I have to admit that I’m proud of my 6 year old daughter. She had to have 2 teeth pulled and she didn’t even flinch or have any issues. Our dentist was impressed and surprised.
people need fear to make the adrenalin flow and that’s the basic insting
Most people will be afraid going to the dentist. It is important for us to get the right information, whether the pain is fact, or just a fake, just for scaring us.
I found your article of great interest to me. As a sufferer of Bi-Polar I am aware of the problems that anxiety causes. I could relate to many of the things in the article but unfortunately for me it’s a cross I have to bear. What I would like to say is that I have been lucky enough to find the most patient, kind and understanding dentist that always gets me through my 6 monthly visit. Luckily I have had no problems with my teeth and count that as a blessing. It’s a shame that not all dentists are like mine because I have come across a few that aren’t and that didn’t make matters better for me because as well as the anxiety before I got there, I used to suffer terrible guilt when I left. So thank you Mr. Morrison, (my dentist), you are a gem.
I think it is best to bring the children to the dentist when they are still young. The dentist will just check their teeth and since there are still no problem with their teeth, they will have a pleasant time on the dental chair. It is good also for them to be familiar with the dentist. If they know and trust the dentist, when it’s time for the “real” dental visit happens, they are already comfortable with the dentist.